


Insecure

by AshZombie13



Category: The Walking Dead (Comics), The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, Negan (Walking Dead) Swears, Sexy Negan (Walking Dead), Sweet Negan (Walking Dead)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-08
Updated: 2017-08-08
Packaged: 2018-12-12 19:31:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,958
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11743683
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AshZombie13/pseuds/AshZombie13
Summary: She thinks she is ugly and undesirable, but Negan shows her how wrong she is.





	Insecure

**Author's Note:**

> Ash’s 3rd Negan Challenge on Tumblr
> 
> Prompt: The Ugly Duckling

I never found myself to be attractive. I had always battled with being overweight, and on top of that my face didn’t have cute features like other girls. My lips were thin and my nose was too big. I hated my eyebrows and my round face. I often wore a lot of makeup to try to make myself look somewhat decent, but even then I wasn’t pretty by everyone else’s standards. My odds of finding a guy nowadays were laughable. I had a hard enough time finding love before the world went to shit. There was no way I'd find someone now, and I accepted that. Other girls I had encountered had used their looks to survive. I didn't have that luxury. I actually had to fight for my life, and I had gotten quite good at it. If there was one thing I had gained from this—it was my new found confidence in fighting. I knew it was now more valuable than a pretty face. 

 

I happened to stumble upon a group that called themselves “The Saviors”. They took me in and I was grateful. The leader of this community, Negan, had many wives. And of course they were all beautiful. I wasn’t surprised when he didn’t ask me to become a wife. 

 

I lived there for months and Negan never glanced in my direction. In fact, none of the men there did. It was almost as if I was invisible, and that was probably due to the fact that I was also so damn shy. I was okay with it though; it only meant that I couldn’t get hurt. I had built up a sufficient amount of points and decided to reward myself. I was always too afraid to drink alcohol when I found it—I didn’t want to lose my edge and get bitten. Being in the Sanctuary, I felt like I was safe now. I went to the commissary and bought myself a bottle of tequila. 

 

I started to have second thoughts because I was a little afraid to drink it alone. I decided to go outside and figured the fresh night air might do me good. Plus there were less people out there, and I didn’t want to draw attention to myself. 

 

I took several sips directly from the bottle, and in a matter of minutes I began to relax. I sat down in the dirt, between the factory and the gates that protected us. I could smell the dead flesh of the rotters on the fence. I didn’t mind the smell, if it meant I got peace and quiet. I looked up at the large building and got lost in my thoughts.  

 

“What the fuck are you doing out here in the middle of the fucking night?” A gruff voice came out of the darkness. 

 

I literally felt like I was going to shit my pants when the figure stepped into the moonlight and I could see the barbed wire bat draped over his shoulder. 

 

_ Negan. _

 

I didn’t know what to do or say. This was the first time Negan spoke to me, and here I was, drunk.

 

Negan looked down at the bottle and chuckled, “Are you having a drinking party? Where the fuck is my invite?” He snatched the bottle from my hands and took a swig. 

 

“Excuse me! That bottle is  _ mine! _ ” I snatched it back from him and glared. 

 

“The fuck is your problem?” Negan raised his voice, “You should know by now that I take what I want whenever I damn well please!” 

 

“Sorry, I know you’re not used to being around women who earn their points. I actually worked my ass off to afford this bottle!” I shot back. The alcohol was giving me the nerve to talk back to Negan.

 

I always had a problem with Negan’s wives. They had the luxury of using their looks to buy their safety. I can admit that I was envious of them too. Negan was very attractive. Physically he had all the qualities of the kind of man I was attracted to. That also meant he was too good looking to ever look twice at me. I’m surprised he even knew I existed. 

 

Negan’s eyes narrowed, “Why don’t you like me?” 

 

I let out an annoyed sigh and rolled my eyes as I continued drinking from my bottle. Negan’s eyes remained on me and I just wished he’d look away. I was feeling anxious, because I did like Negan, but more than he even knew. I wanted what I knew I could never have. I decided to share and handed Negan the tequila. 

 

“I’m just saying⎯ we’re alike, you and me. We really should get along so much better.” He smirked. 

 

Why would he think we were alike? I didn’t have enough courage to ask him. We began walking along the gate and continued handing the alcohol back and forth. It was almost like we were competing for who could drink the most. Every time I handed the bottle to Negan, I noticed his hand linger over mine. The touch of his hand was a little awkward for me, but I still felt butterflies. 

 

“Is it just me, or do you sense some serious sexual tension between us?” Negan chuckled, “I’ve got a feeling you don’t even realize how much!”

 

I couldn’t help but laugh. There was no way he could possibly want me as much as I wanted him.

 

“You know what I love about warm summer nights?” Negan traced his tongue across his lower lip. He leaned in closer, the scruff of his beard grazed my cheek as he whispered in my ear, “It’s the perfect weather to fuck outside! What do you say darlin’?” 

 

“Why would you want me?” I huffed.

 

“What kind of fucking question is that?!” Negan leaned backwards, arching his back. 

 

“You have many beautiful wives. Why would you be interested in me? I’m like the ugly duckling in your pond of swans.” I wasn’t sure if I was making sense at this point. My brain was heavy with tequila. 

 

Negan chuckled, “Yeah, they’re hot as hell, but they’re dumb as shit! So damn needy too.” 

 

I could tell that Negan had a lot more on his mind. He seemed to be frustrated and needed to vent. 

 

“Pardon my goddamn French, but I know they’re just using me for protection.” Negan swung Lucille over his shoulder, pretending to hit an invisible target. “Probably addicted to my dick too,” Negan chuckled.

 

I remained silent, but nodded to show him I was listening. This was the most any guy had ever talked to me, and I was enjoying the company. 

 

“Put any one of them in front of a walker, and I swear it would take two fucking seconds for them to get torn apart!” Negan shook his head.

 

“That is definitely true. They don’t know how to fight. They just use their looks to survive.” I rolled my eyes, feeling the anger bubble up again. 

 

“You on the other hand…” Negan smirked, “You’re a fucking badass chick!” 

 

Negan approached me again. His eyes trailed over me, and it almost seemed like he was enjoying looking at me. 

 

“I got some shit to take care of, but when I’m done I wanna take care of you.” Negan lifted his hand to tuck my hair behind my ear, “Wait in my room for me, or else I’ll come find you!” Negan whistled as he walked back inside the Sanctuary doors. 

 

I didn’t know what to think of our encounter. There was no way he could be serious about his offer. This all had to be a cruel joke. I headed towards Negan’s room, and as I walked through the halls I passed several beautiful wives.  _ Why me and not them? _ I began feeling incredibly insecure. I felt too afraid to go to Negan’s room after seeing them, and decided to turn around to head to my own room. 

 

I reached the safety of my room and realized Negan had said he would come looking for me. I started to wonder if Negan even knew where my room was. Even if he did, would he really come looking? 

 

My mind was spinning, both from the alcohol and confusion from Negan. I looked at myself in the mirror and felt sad. I wish I did look like the wives. I wished I was pretty and skinny like them.

 

* * *

 

I drifted off to sleep easily from the alcohol I had drank, but suddenly a loud knocking sound hit my door. I groaned at the interruption and pulled my covers over my head. I didn't want to get up and deal with whoever was at the door. I heard the sound of my door slam open and I jumped up. Negan stood in my doorway with a huge grin across his lips. 

 

“I told you I'd come looking if you weren't waiting in my room!” He winked as he confidently strolled into my room.

 

He sat on the edge of my bed. His emotions were difficult to read, and I didn’t understand what exactly he wanted from me. Or how he even knew where my room was.

 

“H-how did you k-know where my r-room was?” I stuttered.

 

“I’d be a piss poor leader if I didn’t know how to find someone in my own community! I have eyes everywhere, doll. It really wasn’t that fucking hard to track you down.” He smirked, “Plus I’ve seen you come in here plenty of times.”

 

_ Negan had noticed me all this time? _

 

Negan moved closer to me and I trembled with fear. His brows furrowed and his head tilted at my actions. 

 

He frowned, “Don’t shatter my image of you. You’re a fucking badass. You’re not scared of shit. Don’t be scared of me. It’s a disappointment.” He leaned in closer, and I could feel his hot breath against my lips.

 

“I still don’t understand. You’re surrounded by so many beautiful wives that you could have any time you want. Why are you so interested in me?” I tried searching his face for an answer.

 

“Like I said, we are a lot alike. I find it such a fucking turn on that you aren’t afraid of shit. You’re strong and can handle yourself.” Negan licked his lower lip as he noticed his words were affecting me. 

 

I closed the remaining space between us and kissed Negan. I let my hands slide behind his neck and grasp at his hair. He groaned against my mouth as I slightly pulled. The remaining tequila in my system must’ve given me the nerve to act this way. Negan placed his hand on my thigh and then trailed up to my hips and squeezed. 

 

_ He was touching my body. My disgusting body.  _

 

I began to feel my insecurities again and wanted to run and hide. I pulled away from the kiss quickly and quietly sighed. Negan grinned, looking at me with half lidded eyes. 

 

“My dick is so hard right now I could crack steel. I should wrap it in barbed wire and call it  _ ‘Lucille Two’ _ .” He palmed his erection.

 

_ He wasn’t disgusted by my body? _

 

“You… find me… attractive?” I felt brave enough to ask. 

 

“Fuck, yes!” He licked his lips, “If you are agreeable to it, I’d fucking love to fuck you all night!”

 

I didn’t fully understand why he’d be interested in me, but I didn’t want to question it anymore. I had intrigued him by my strength and courage, not by the way I looked. 

 

_ I let my insecurities slip away and nodded to let Negan know that I wanted him. For the first time in my life, I felt desirable.  _

  
  
  



End file.
